This set of posts explores the history, biology, psychology, and theology of human relatedness that identifies male and female differences in search of the scriptural balance that honors the man, the woman, and God.

Human sexuality begins at conception and is present at the very core of what it is to be human; individuals are first human, and second male and female (Gen 1:27; Allender and Temper, 1995). Research has confirmed human perceptions are made through masculine or feminine senses, processed by a masculine or feminine brain, in a masculine or feminine body (Cozolino, 2006, 51-52; Arthur, Johnson, & Young, 2007, 828; Wiwanitkit, 2006, 171; Lopez-Sosa & Tevar, 2005, 147). Theologically, the book of Genesis describes man and woman being created, equally responsible for unique tasks, and equally answerable to God as suggested by the fact that when both were cursed, each was cursed separately and differently as man and woman (Gen 1:27, 3:16-19).

So What

Historically, the topic of sexual diversity between men and women has been difficult to discuss objectively because it has been so highly politicized.  Some believe these views on sexuality are fiercely defended because they maintain “gender-based power structures” (Scott, 2008, 13; Kleinplatz, et al., 2009, 2; Levant, et al., 2007, 84; Mulholland, 2007, 28). From a power-struggle perspective each side would search for evidence supporting claims that one sex is better or worse suited (weaker or stronger) to exert control or dominance over the other (Hopcroft, 2009, 1846; Piper & Grudem, 2006, 33).

As a result of wrestling for power in the relationship confusion, speculation, myth, and ultimately unhealthy-expectations grow between spouses. The outcomes of these struggles can result in more than arguments and misunderstandings, they can also correlate with sexual abuse, assault, and chronic dissatisfaction in male-female relationships (Kleinplatz, 2009, 2; Popovic, 2005, 32). Unhealthy expectations and communication assumptions lie at the foundation of many difficulties that couples struggle to overcome when relating to each other.

Path to Freedom

Christ offers an alternative solution: both spouses in equal yet uniquely complete intimacy with Him; from this perspective the marriage begins to look like a mysterious dance that honors all three (Eph 5:32-33; Yarhouse, 2005, 34). Learning the first step to this dance begins in learning that men and women generally use the same words to communicate very different thoughts; the second step is then to learn how to translate what the word was intended to mean rather than what the word means to the listener. The next few posts will explore more of the differences in the ways men and women think, feel, approach, and respond to situations and each other; how those differences impact our ability to relate and communicate with each other, and what God’s intended “dance” might look like.

If you want more information on this topic, or want help in applying it to your relationship, you can reach us at:
www.SpiritCounselingTx.com

References:

Allender, Dan B., and Tremper III Longman. Intimae Allies: Rediscovering God's Design for Marriage and Becoming Soul Mates for Life . Carol Stream, Il: Tyhndale House Publishers, Inc., 1995.

Cozolino, Louis. The Neuroscience of Human Relationships. New York: W. W. Norton & Company, 2006.

Heather Arthur, Gail Johnson and Adena Young, "Gender Differences and Color: Content and Emotion of Written Descriptions," Social Behavior and Personality (Society for Personality Research, Inc.) 35, no. 6 (2007).

Hopcroft, Rosemary L. "Gender Inequality in Interaction - An Evolutionary Account." Social Forces (University of North Carolina Press) 87, no. 4 (June 2009): 1845-72.

Kleinplatz, Peggy J., et al. "The components of optimal sexuality: A portrait of "great sex"." The Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality 18, no. (1-2) (2009).

Levant, Ronald F., K. Bryant Smalley, Maryse Aupont, A. Tanner House, Katherine Richmond, and Delilah Noronha. "Initial Validation of the Male Role Norms Inventory-Revised (MRNI-R)." Journal of Men's Studies (Men's Studies Press, LLC) 15, no. 1 (Winter 2007): 83-100.

Lopez-Sosa, Carmen, and Rafael Roldan Tevar. "The Human Sexual System in the Context of the Health Sciences." Sexuality and Disability 23, no. 3 (Fall 2005): 146-149.

Mulholland, Jon. "The Racialisation and Ethnicisation of Sexuality and Sexual Problems in Sex Therapeutic Discourse." Sexual and Relationship Therapy (Routledge: Taylor & Francis Group) 22, no. 1 (February 2007): 27-44.

Piper, John, and Wayne Grudem. "An Overview of Central Concerns." In Recovering Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: A Response To Evangelical Feminism, edited by John Piper and Wayne Grudem, 60-94. Wheaton, Illinois: Crossway Books, 2006.

Scott, Dan. Naked And Not Ashamed: How God Redeems our Sexualiuty. Eugene, OR: Harvest House Publishers, 2008

Wiwanitkit, Viroj. "Interaction Between Alpha-Fetoprotein Gene and Gonadotropin-Releasing Hormone and Effects on Brain Sexual Differentiation: Molecular Function and Biological Process." Sex Disaability (Springer Science+Business Media, Inc.) 24 (August 2006): 169-173.

Yarhouse, Mark A. "Constructive Relationships Between Religeon and the Scientific Study of Sexuality." Journal of Psychology and Christianity (Christian Association for Psychological Studies) 24, no. 1 (2005): 29-35.
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